Please critique my resume!

[adroit]

Hi,

I am a junior math major currently looking for an internship opportinuty for next summer. I have just put together my very first resume--yes, I have never written a resume before. Please take a look and let me know how I can improve it. Your suggestions will be very much appreciated!!

Thank you very much for your time!!

[adroit]

Hi, if you could just skim through the resume and give me a "Yes" if you think it works or "No" if it doesn't, that would be helpful too. Thanks again!!

[adroit]

I am posting the job description too so that you can judge whether my resume is specific with regard to the requirements:
__________________________________________________ ______________
The Company

Towers Watson is a leading global professional services company that helps organizations improve performance through effective people, financial and risk management. With 14,000 associates around the world, we offer solutions in the areas of employee benefit programs, talent and reward programs, and risk and capital management.

The Business

The Business
Towers Watson hires Actuarial Interns into two of its major business segments: Benefits and Risk & Financial Services.

Benefits

We hire Health and Retirement Actuarial Interns into two areas within the Benefits Segment:

Health and Group Benefits:
Health and Group Benefits consultants provide advice on the strategy, design, financing, delivery, ongoing management and communication of health and group benefit programs. Retirement:
Retirement consultants combine expertise in retirement and investment consulting to support organizations worldwide in designing, managing, administering and communicating all types of retirement plans.

Risk & Financial Services
We hire Life and Property & Casualty Actuarial Interns into one area within the Risk & Financial Services Segment:

Risk Consulting & Software:
Insurance consultants offer innovative consulting services that help insurers manage risk and capital, improve business performance and create competitive advantage.

The Role

As an Actuarial Intern, you will work beside some of the industry’s top consultants while you progress towards qualifying as an actuary.

You will have immediate exposure to real client assignments which will draw on your imagination and creativity as well as your ability to analyze data, draw conclusions and present results. These experiences will help build your technical knowledge and overall industry expertise while you benefit from one of the industry’s most comprehensive actuarial training and development programs.

Your main responsibilities will be as follows:
People
 Build relationships internally and collaborate effectively on cross-functional teams
Client
 Partner with consultants to provide actuarial support on client projects. Depending on your area of specialty this might include some of the following client projects:
 Design, funding, pricing, implementation and management of a full ''''' of health and group benefits or retirement programs
 Competitive benchmarking analysis of benefit plan designs
 Insurance pricing analyses to ensure that clients are competitive
 Financial modeling
 Actuarial and financial valuations in accordance with regulations
 Development of insurance products
 Corporate restructuring and capital enhancement initiatives (demutualization, securitization, mergers & acquisitions)
 Forecasting and carrying out investment studies
 Performing asset/liability modeling
 Increase efficiency within client teams by identifying ways to improve processes
 Demonstrate natural ease and effectiveness when dealing with clients/colleagues at all levels
Financial
 Meet chargeable hours targets
 Contribute to sales and marketing efforts by supplying information for proposals
Excellence
 Develop professional expertise by progressing towards qualification as an actuary
 Develop technical knowledge and skills in the area you have chosen to focus on
 Deliver on projects to meet or exceed client expectations

The Requirements

 Junior standing (sophomore considered with other relevant internship experience) pursuing a Bachelors or Masters degree in actuarial science, mathematics, statistics, finance or any other major with significant quantitative course work, and a strong academic record
 Successful completion of one actuarial exam highly preferred (or registered for upcoming exam). Candidates with no exams will be considered if the university the candidate attended does not offer an actuarial science curriculum, but can provide specific examples of strong math aptitude (eg. ACT/SAT scores/transcripts)
 A leader; proactively takes initiative
 A problem solver; able to identify and solve challenging problems
 Analytical; able to draw conclusions from data in a logical, systematic way
 Conceptual; ability to go beyond the details and see the big picture
 Results-driven; focused on achieving results that promote business success
 Committed to quality; continuously works to achieve the highest quality standards
 Team player; ability to work independently as well as in a team
 Excellent oral and written communication skills
 Experience using software/programming skills to analyze and solve problems
 Be able to demonstrate attention to detail and commitment to task

[Irish Blues]

A 30,000 foot view:

1. Don't mention that you're sitting for FM/2 in February; either you've passed an exam or you haven't [in which case, you don't mention it at all].

2. Don't mention coursework under each college - strike that completely.

3. Alpha University: list the dates as August 2010 - present. You [I]might mention that your current expected graduation date is 2012; I can't recall how this is supposed to be done.

4A. You went into way too much detail on your work experience; "Demonstrated a different product each day; became an expert on each product and got ready to communicate its benefits to customers within half an hour" can be condensed into "trained to demonstrate many different products to customers." Expert is a relative term; so is "communicate its benefits" - keep this area general, go into specifics in the interview.

4B. "Increased sales by 100%" is meaningless without some context ... and employers will want to know what this means.

4C. Strike that you got a promotion within 2 months of hire; not being mean, but no one will care.

5. When you presented your findings at XYZ Robotics Club, who was the audience - each other? Professors? Industry experts? Again, this is going to be important; if you have experience presenting in front of high-level people in your school/field/whatever, it will tell employers something.

6. Instead of saying you're experienced with various applications, describe your self-perceived level of competence. That's more valuable [and more interesting] - not all experience is equal [nor is all experience necessarily useful].

Suggestion: assuming you have a career center at your school, have someone there look it over and edit it as needed. While you're there, see if they can help with interview skills - you may think you know how to interview well, but don't leave this to chance.

[adroit]

Thanks a lot for your suggestions!! I am working on the revision right now and will post it here when I finish!

[ExamTaker99]

I started taking exams 3 years ago. So far I have passed P, FM, MLC, MFE, C, AFE, Exam 5, and Exam 6. I scored a 10 on every exam, except FM, which I got a 9 on. I have also passed all 3 CFA exams, plus I have a Ph.D. in Physics, and my programming skills are exceptional.

After passing my second exam (FM) about two and a half years ago, I have easily applied to over 300 actuary positions, and have only received one interview, which did not result in a job offer.

The reason I started taking actuary and CFA exams is that I truly love math and statistics. But more than that, I was duped into believing that competence is highly valued in the actuary field. Why else would an exam structure exist???

I realize that the job market is tough, but I have started to study for the MCAT exam so I can apply to medical school in two years. I have finally realized that there is ONLY ONE field where employment is guaranteed by passing exams: Medicine. There is no such thing as an unemployed medical doctor.

[Irish Blues]

I started taking exams 3 years ago. So far I have passed P, FM, MLC, MFE, C, AFE, Exam 5, and Exam 6. I scored a 10 on every exam, except FM, which I got a 9 on. I have also passed all 3 CFA exams, plus I have a Ph.D. in Physics, and my programming skills are exceptional.
When you say "Exam 5 and Exam 6," do you mean CAS Exam 5 and CAS Exam 6?


After passing my second exam (FM) about two and a half years ago, I have easily applied to over 300 actuary positions, and have only received one interview, which did not result in a job offer.
Did you get in touch with a recruiter or someone at a career center at your local college to see if there was something wrong with your resume and/or cover letter?


The reason I started taking actuary and CFA exams is that I truly love math and statistics. But more than that, I was duped into believing that competence is highly valued in the actuary field. Why else would an exam structure exist???
If competence was the measuring stick, I wouldn't know Fellows who don't understand how a retrospective policy works and I'd know at least two current Associates who would be Fellows. That said, define "competence."


I realize that the job market is tough, but I have started to study for the MCAT exam so I can apply to medical school in two years. I have finally realized that there is ONLY ONE field where employment is guaranteed by passing exams: Medicine. There is no such thing as an unemployed medical doctor.
Only by choice. However, my PCP would say that with the changes coming down the pipeline wrt the new health care plan, that may not be the case in a few years if things play out like he expects.

[ExamTaker99]

Yes, I have four separate recruiters working for me ever since I passed Exam FM about two and a half years ago. My resume and cover letter are fine, except that I have been unemployed for a good period of time now.

My wife jokes with me that the reason I can't get an actuary job is my one exam score of 9 that sticks out like a sore thumb from the other 10's. (Note: Exams 5 and 6 refer to CAS Exams 5 and 6.) But all kidding aside, perhaps I would be better off if I had passed with scores of 6 and 7. It is not my intention to boast or sound arrogant, but maybe hiring managers are intimidated by an entry-level candidate with exceptional exam performance that may be significantly better than that of the hiring manager.

I believe the definition of competence is mostly self-explanatory, but I will try to elaborate. Competence is the ability to use one's brain to solve problems effectively and efficiently.

[Irish Blues]

So you got 10s on CAS 5 and CAS 6? That's impressive!

[ExamTaker99]

Unfortunately, I can't take my 10's on Exam 5 and 6 to the bank and cash it! Are you currently working as an actuary, IrishBlues?

[pepper2000]

My apologies to adroit for taking the thread off topic, but I wanted to comment on what ExamTaker wrote.

Yikes! I knew the job market was tough, but reading what you wrote really makes me wonder what it takes. I have two exams so far, 10's on both, a Ph. D. in math, and extensive programming experience. I've had several interviews phone interviews and an in-person interview, but am still unemployed. I would like to know who exactly is getting these jobs and what makes their applications better than mine. I have heard people say that perhaps you can have too many exams, but I have never heard of exam scores being too high. Then again, for all I know the decision could be based on zodiac compatibility.

Though, I would say that your definition of "competence" is only a good start. You also have to be able to work well in a team, be hard-working, flexible, communicate well, and more.

[Irish Blues]

Yes I am, and I'm taking the CAS exams - which is why I think it's amazing that you managed to get 10s on CAS 5 and CAS 6 ... because when you pass a CAS exam, you don't get a score - the grade report simply says PASS.