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Thread: Please criqitue my Resume and CV THx ppl!

  1. #1
    Actuary.com - Level I Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Please criqitue my Resume and CV THx ppl!

    Hi everyone, I just want to see if my resume and CV are good to go
    *Things that I'm concerned are*

    *Are my wordings too wordy?
    *Is the lay out too complicated?
    *Should I get rid of the course work?
    *If so, anyidea on what to add-on?

    Cover Letter:
    I deviated from the standard CV format, and decided to use the bullet point style.
    *The bullet points itself seems just to reiterate what I've said in the resume.
    Any ideas on how I might fix this? or is it fine the way it is?
    * “Spontaneously supporting the team under time pressure upon requests.”
    Should I just erase this?
    * “Having a presentation about the summary of convergence insurance to the board of directors.”
    This was during the internship program; it wasn’t anything like as if I was proposing or anything,
    Does it sound too much than it is? I don’t want to give any false impression.

    Anyways, feel free to comment on anything!
    Highly appreciate it

    Thanks in advance people!
    Attached Files Attached Files

  2. #2
    Actuary.com - Level III Poster
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Regarding the cover letter, I think it is good to state your precise purpose in the first sentence. A person reading the letter wants to know what they are reading right away. Something to the effect of "I am an actuarial science student at (university), and I wish to apply for (Position X)". As a general rule, I think that it is best to streamline the phrasing as much as possible. Take a careful look over each point you are making to see if you make the same point in fewer words. For example, the last sentence of the first paragraph could be "My knowledge and experience align well with your requirements for the position". Notice also that I phrased the sentence so that your qualities are the subject; the letter is about you, after all.

    Regarding the third bullet point, it's not clear to me what exactly that means. If you can clarify or make the point more specific, great; otherwise I would delete it. As for the fourth bullet point, presentations are an important business skill, and it is something worth mentioning. You might just say that you gave a presentation without specifying the subject matter, unless you think the subject is especially relevant. Actually, I don't think that a bulleted list in a cover letter is appropriate; it would be better to put those points into normal prose.

    Others may disagree, but I think that every statement you make should be backed by evidence. You say that you have keen analytical skills, for instance. Give evidence of that. Say, for instance, that you have a high GPA or point to a significant intellectual accomplishment. Give an example that shows how you learn quickly, and ideally it is an example that is relevant to actuarial work.

    The paragraph on your military experience is a good one, since it highlights several skills that are important in a business environment and you provide the evidence. This may require some creativity, but I would add a statement to connect those directly to the position you are interested in. Maybe even something directly to the effect of, "I intend to bring these characteristics to (company)."

    A few things on the resume. Here too I would try to streamline the phrasing. For instance, in the first bullet point under office assistant, maybe say "Supported the team through timely communication"; it says the same thing with fewer words. Go over every bit of the resume to see what other such changes you can make.

    Seven headers is a lot, and you might want to see if there is a good way to combine some of them. For instance, combining "Awards" and "Leadership and Extracurricular Activity" might be a good idea. Consider the ordering, too. You might put "Skills and Language" right after "Work Experience", depending on how important you think it is. Also, I would consider computer skills to be more important than language skills, so put that first. You might drop "Word" from the computer skills unless the job description explicitly mentions it. Finally, I'm not sure if you want to keep the "Course Work" section.

    I hope that at least some of my ideas are helpful. Good luck to you.

  3. #3
    You spam? I ban! Irish Blues's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Assuming that you're either at the University of Illinois or at Parkland College, stop by the Career Center on the applicable campus and have them look over both your cover letter and your resume. If you're not attending either school, stop by the Parkland campus.
    "You better get to living, because dying's a pain in the ***." - Frank Sinatra

    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blogger_ar...blogger_id=174 - where I talk about the Blues and the NHL.

  4. #4
    Actuary.com - Level I Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Thanks for comments guys!
    I knew I could have improved in some way.
    I REALLY appreciate it

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